Coulda, Woulda, Shoulda, But Didn't!
by MistShift
Summary: Matt brought his lips down to hover just above his friend’s, “I want… Can we…” He ran his fingers through the blonde’s hair causing Mello to shiver underneath him.“Uumm… Can… Can we what?"
1. Could have

_**I do not own Death Note**_

**A/N: **This little project of mine is centered around Matt. There is plenty of Boy's Love going on in this story so if it's not your cup of tea, then don't drink the tea (don't read)… Enjoy!

The light tapping on the door forced his eyes open. He couldn't remember falling asleep but that didn't surprise him, he had stayed up the whole night before beating a game that was sent to him by the development team at EA. It only took him 17 hours to conquer the supposedly 35 hour long game, a new record. The redhead stared thoughtfully up at the dreadfully white ceiling. He laid there trying to figure out just how he got back to his room. Before, he was in the common area with Mello and Near, he could easily picture Mello screaming at Near over some trivial matter.

Firmer knocking arose from his bedroom door. He sighed heavily and strained slightly to lift his tired body off the bed. Who would be bothering him now? Mello would normally just walk right in without knocking. There's no way it could be Near, what use could Matt possibly be to the number one ranked student here at Wammy's House? It was midevening so Roger shouldn't be calling him for anything…

"Matt… please, open the door," the gamer perked up his ears at the sound of that familiar voice. Something is wrong. Matt ran to the door in a panic, why did Mello knock? Why does he sound so… broken?

Without a second thought, Matt ripped open the door and standing in the hall was a very distressed blonde. Mello kept his head down and his eyes fixed to the floor. "Please just let me in. I won't do anything weird. I promise." His voice was dripping with pain and regret.

Matt stepped aside to allow his companion to enter his room. Mello hesitated for a second, then took one cautious step forward. Then another. Matt moved to shut the door behind him, "It'll be easier on me if you leave that open," Mello barely got his voice to a whisper.

"Um… Ok then," the redhead slowly backed away from the door. He was completely confused. 'What's going on Mello?' He mentally pleaded. After a while it seemed obvious either Mello couldn't read his mind or was choosing not to. "What do you want, Mello?" 'That came out harsher than it was supposed to.' Matt made his way over to his bed, the only available place to sit in his small room.

Mello flinched and turned his back to his friend, "I'm sorry, I just… I just wanted to… I'm sorry." His shoulders slumped and his voice caught, "I told you before, I'm almost 15 so I'll be leaving here soon."

A million thoughts ran through Matt's mind in that one second. 'Leaving? Forever? Soon? Why? Don't! You can't! Don't leave me alone!' Thousands of voices screamed in his head at once. It took every fiber of his being to keep still. Mello was on the edge right now and there was no way he'd be the one to push his best friend over it. "When?"

"As soon as possible."

"I'm coming with!"

Mello shot around, his eyes were huge. Everything about him gave away his thoughts. He hadn't expected Matt to even miss him, let alone volunteer to go with. Panic and confusion danced across his eyes. "… You… I just… WHAT!?" He was on the verge of tears and Matt knew he had to act quickly.

He pushed himself off the bed and wrapped his arms around the blonde in one fluid motion. He felt the smaller boy flinch under his touch. 'Just bear with it for a little while, Mello.' He gently squeezed the awkward figure in his arms. He had never tried touching Mello in any unnecessary way, and now the heat between them was sucking him in. He tightened his hold and pulled that feeling closer to his body until his heart felt like it was on fire. 'Was Mello always this warm?' He took a deep breath to clear his mind, but the smell of chocolate was intoxicating. He brought his face closer to Mello's neck and inhaled again. 'This smell… it's so good.'

"No," the quiet words brought him back to reality, followed by a hard push to get free. "No… Matt, if you do that I'll…"

"Huh...? What just…? Huh?" Matt's senses were elsewhere right now. All he knew was one minute he was in heaven and the next he felt completely empty. "If I… You'll what?"

Mello's eyes went wide, "You're being weird, I'll come back later." He turned towards the door but before he could take a single step Matt nonchalantly grabbed his wrist and pulled him back to their previous position like it was the most normal thing in the world.

"If I hold you like this, tell me, what would you do?" His voice sounded almost dangerous. He slid his free arm around the blonde's waist and pulled him closer. "What are you thinking?"

"I would do this," Mello easily broke free from his captor and practically threw him onto his own bed. "Don't get cocky with me, Matt!" '… He's pissed,' the redhead realized.

"You," Mello hissed as he placed a knee beside his victim, "Are a pain. I came here because I thought you were mad at me, but it was quite the opposite." He continued his climb and kissed Matt hard, forcing him to lie down on the bed completely. Matt's heart caught on fire again, a slow, painful, beautiful feeling. It consumed all his thoughts and all his reason. Mello kissed him harder and forced his tongue in. The sudden sweet taste broke him out of his trance and he started to fight back. They wrestled for dominance but Matt quickly gave up when Mello put his hand up the redhead's shirt. His whole body was on fire now! The light tapping on the door forced his eyes open. He couldn't remember falling asleep but that didn't surprise him, he had stayed up the whole night before beating a game that was sent to him by the development team at EA. It only took him 17 hours to conquer the supposedly 35 hour long game, a new record. The redhead stared thoughtfully up at the dreadfully white ceiling. He laid there trying to figure out just how he got back to his room. Before, he was in the common area with Mello and Near, he could easily picture Mello screaming at Near over some trivial matter.

**A/N: **Okay, so you hate me right? Don't worry there will be more! Promise! If you noticed any mistakes, please let me know. In the mean time, please comment!


	2. Would have

**A/N:** Sorry about the cliffhanger in the last chapter =3 and I'm also sorry this took so long to upload… Ha ha for a second I forgot which anime this was! I do not own Death Note even though I wouldn't mind to… Ok, so here is ch2 hope you love it! Fyi, I made the "quotes" ppl talking and the 'apostrophes' are like Matt's thought bubbles.

'Was it all a dream? It felt so real.' Matt subconsciously touched his lips. He could swear that they felt a little swollen from Mello's attack… "I'm losing it... Nothing in this world could ever taste that sweet. Not even chocolate…" He mumbled deliriously to himself. His dream felt so real. He could remember every taste and every touch. It was like playing the world's best video game but then the console shuts itself off. He pulled his hand away from his lips and just stared at it for a while.

"Matt… please, open the door," the gamer perked up his ears at the sound of the familiar voice. Something is wrong. Matt ran to the door in a panic, why did Mello knock? It was just like his dream. Did that mean he was still sleeping? Is this real? He threw open the door and in his path was a very upset blonde.

His friend shifted his weight and wouldn't meet his gaze, 'Just like my dream, what do I do?' Matt reached his hand out, but a flinch from the other boy halted his movements. He felt an overwhelming guilt pass over him. Seeing his best friend in pain wasn't something he enjoyed. 'Forgive me, Mello.' Matt stepped out into the hall and wrapped his arms around the smaller boy, not caring who saw. "Tell me what's wrong."

The blonde instantly fell into the embrace and the total lack of resistance caused Matt stiffen up. What was meant to be a comforting gesture turned into an awkward position. Mello became uncomfortable and tried to shake the gamer off of him as though nothing happened, but Matt simply tightened his grip to keep the smaller boy in place.

"Mello…?" At the sound of his name, Mello instantly stopped trying to get away and just let it happen, not seeming to care about how uncomfortable the situation was. "He…." Mello whispered into Matt's shoulder, "He's dead, Kira won…" Mello buckled under the weight of his own words and grabbed onto Matt as if he were the last thing in the world. "That bastard…," The whisper grew into a painful scream, "KILLED L!" He clutched onto Matt's shirt as he fell to the floor in agony.

Matt was frozen in place. His vision dulled, he could still see Mello crying on the floor but all he could hear was an echoing silence. 'L… You idiot! How could you leave Mello alone like this!?' He fell to his knees and only shed one tear for his fallen mentor. He stared at Mello's cringed body, not really seeing him. He could hear the cries but they seemed so far away. 'Mello… It's ok. Everything will be ok… Please stop hurting…' Without thinking, he picked Mello up off the floor and carried him into the room, carefully placing him on the bed. He turned to leave but Mello weakly grabbed his hand, "Please… don't leave me alone…" His red rimmed eyes met Matt's.

'Alone…? That's right… You're not alone, I'm here…' Matt tried to smile for his friend, "I was just going to shut the door, that's all." Mello didn't let him go. He looked so scared, like he was afraid something would happen to Matt if he got even that far away. So Matt simply stood there, his hand now firmly gripped by Mello's. Once the smaller boy was convinced that his companion wouldn't go anywhere, he started to calm down and in turn, fell asleep.

Matt kneeled down beside the bed, "I'll never leave you, Mello. Not until the day I die, I swear." He caressed his sleeping friend's face and lightly ran his thumb over the blonde's mouth. 'Forgive me.' He leaned forward and carefully brought their lips together. Mello shifted under him and Matt threw himself back in a panic. 'OH SHIT! OH SHIT! OH SHIT!' Mello changed positions and was right back out. Matt realized he was holding his breath and exhaled. "I'm losing it," he mumbled to himself. He leaned against his dresser and waited.

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After a few hours, Matt began to grow hungry. He didn't want to chance leaving and have Mello wake up to an empty room. So he took one of his game controllers and threw it out the open door into the hall. A few minutes later he heard footsteps. 'Ha! Right on time.' In the door way he saw an approaching shadow stop, then continue on it's path down the hallway.

"You need something, Matt?" A very small voice echoed in the hall.

"Ha, ha. Yeah," Matt laughed at the familiar voice, "Uumm, we kind of missed supper and I was wondering if you could get us something from the kitchen…"

"… Yeah, I guess I could… I figured he would overreact once he left the office… He said he was going to leave here…" A platinum haired boy poked his head in the room and took in the scene. "You're going with him, right?"

Matt laughed nervously, "I've been trying to figure out where we're gonna live. It won't be easy…"

"Hmm…" The boy turned and left.

Matt looked over at the still sleeping boy. "We'll make it work though… HEY! HE DIDN'T BRING MY CONTROLLER IN! I swear if he takes it apart again I'll kill him!"

"Near was here?" A sleepy voice spoke up. Matt shot his head back in the bed's direction. "You're awake!?" He jumped to attention.

"Well, yelling like that could wake the dead." The blonde shot his friend a very annoyed look. "What time is it?" Mello scratched his head in such a tired/lazy way that Matt had to laugh.

"Well it's almost seven... You've been out for most of the day. I just sent Near to get us some food so he should be here any minute now." Matt became very aware of the fact that it was just them and shifted uncomfortably. He remembered the way Mello had looked when he was crying on the floor. Had it been anyone besides Matt, Mello would have made sure that the witness to his break down was tortured to insanity.

"Why didn't you just wake me up? Or at least eat while I was sleeping? You are a strange one…" Mello looked at him with confusion. However, the messy hair, sleepy eyes, and wrinkled clothes were too much for Matt to take and he burst out laughing. That caused the blonde to be even more confused. He became annoyed and got up to leave, but before he made it out the door, Matt got up and wrapped his arms tightly around the smaller boy's waist from behind. He buried his face in the blonde's hair. When Mello didn't move to leave the embrace, he relaxed a little and took in the scent of his hair and the feel of his body. Then he seductively whispered into his ear, "You asked me to stay, so how could I possibly leave?" He grabbed Mello's face and turned it towards himself. "And you were just so sweet lying there that I didn't want to wake you." Matt bit his lip and playfully bopped their noses together. That broke the spell. Mello violently knocked Matt to the ground.

"God, you're such a jerk! Can't you find a better way to spend your time than by being weird?" Then Mello walked out the door, slamming it behind him.

Matt was left on the floor stunned. 'What just happened? He knew I was kidding right?' He hurried off the floor and ran down to Mello's room. 'Please don't let him hate me. I was just messing around.' He stood in front of Mello's door, trying to think of what to say. A million different scenarios ran through his head. He was just about to knock when he heard sounds coming from the other side. Matt couldn't quite make it out so he pressed his ear to the door and listened intently. His eyes went wide. He heard heavy breathing and quiet grunting. 'He can't be!?' He had to know, so he knocked. A very steady voice answered, "Go away, Matt!" If he didn't know any better Matt would have thought Mello was just sitting in his room, not doing what he was doing. 'How long ago did he learn this trick?'

"Mello, I'm sorry. I was just messing around," Matt pleaded through the door, "I didn't mean anything by it…"

"…"

"I won't do it again, okay? It was just a joke. I won't ever touch you like that again. I swear." Matt smiled behind the door. 'Come on Mello… Tell me I'm right…'

"… Tha… That's not…Nhh…" Matt's smile widened.

He lowered his voice and tried to sound depressed, despite his smile, "If you never want to talk to me again I understand… I'm sorry… I'll let you be…" He turned to leave but kept his ears perked up for what he knew was coming.

"NO!" Mello almost yelled it, "I mean… stay there… I'm nhh… not mad. Just… uhh… stay there… Just nhh… keep talking… pl… PLEASE!?"

'God, Mello, you should have told me about this. Then you wouldn't have had to… I could've… Why didn't I see it before?' Matt was trying to figure out a way to get that door open when he heard someone approach behind him.

"I figured you'd be here, Matt. Why's he mad this time?" Near asked from behind a cart of food.

'Shit!' "Ha, ha. I was messing around with him and he didn't think it was very funny…" He laughed nervously. 'If I figured out what Mello was doing, it won't be a problem for Near to find out as well…' Matt politely led Near away from the door and whispered nonchalantly, "What do you suggest I do?"

Near stared at him expressionlessly. He blinked, and kept staring. Matt started feeling uncomfortable.

"Did you try turning the handle?" Near stated and walked away.

'The handle? There's no way…' Sure enough, when Matt returned to the door and tried turning the handle it gave.

"Shit! Go away!" He heard from inside the room. Followed by the sound of fabric rustling. Matt opened the door and walked in. It was pitch black.

"Mello? Where are you? Answer me!" His eyes started adjusting to the dark and he saw something move on top of the bed. 'Found you!'

"Mello? Talk to me!" Matt pretended to feel out the room looking for Mello.

"…"

"What are you doing in here? I can't see a thing." Matt acted like he tripped over his own feet and landed square on top of the bed. As a result he also landed on Mello. He caught himself just inches away from the smaller boys face. "Mello, is that you?" He playfully ran his fingers over his friend's face like he was blind. Lingering on his lips for just a second too long. He felt the blonde gasp a little at the touch. "Hey, sorry man." Matt said with an embarrassed tone but made no move to get up. "What were you doing in here?" He noticed that Mello's breathing had evened out but his body was still hot.

'I wonder if he even got to finish.'

"I… Nothing"

"Mello?"

"Yeah?"

Matt lowered his voice, "It's just that… It's dark in here and we're on your bed and… Uumm…" Matt blushed a little. "And you're… REALLY warm… And…"

He heard Mello swallow nervously, "And…?" It sounded more like he was begging for something than asking a question.

Matt brought his lips down to hover just above his friend's, "I want… Can we…" 'Is that my heartbeat or his? It's so loud…' He ran his fingers through the blonde's hair causing Mello to shiver underneath him.

"Uumm… Can… Can we what?" They stared into each other's eyes for a moment. Complete silence surrounding them.

'Fuck!' "Can we… leave...? Tomorrow?" Just like that Matt broke the spell again…

**A/N: **Ha ha sorry about the cliffhanger again but it's the best way I could end this in order to make sure I can pull 2 more chapters out of this 'plot…' ok, now here's a question for you, How many of you thought Matt asked if they could fuck? Lol Thanks for reading! And stay tuned for the next installment!


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